Advice Column

Dear Fabulous Fibber, 

Firstly, you have made a grave mistake. WHO, in their right mind, would ever think this is a good idea? While Finkle and Stinkle, have made their own errors, like giving our friend their allergens, we would never ever dream of something that incompetent. You’re on your own for this one. 

Or… you could get off your butt and get a job. Save up enough money to get an apartment near Harvard next year. Then, you can spend the year pretending to go to Harvard and when your parents come to visit just sneak into a random dorm! 

Love,

Finkle and Stinkle

Dear, Cousin Connundrum, 

What the f*ck. This is Stinkle. Speaking from experience, you need some new friends. How does it feel to have your friend only want to hang out with you in order to see your cousin? Not good I presume. As Finkle would say, at least your friend worked up the courage to share their feelings. That’s pretty darn brave.  

Dear Hopeful Holiday Homie,

Finkle Here!

• Hang out with best friend’s COUSIN 
• Going ice skating with your best friend’s COUSIN 
• Sing carols with your best friend’s COUSIN
• Have Thanksgiving dinner with your best friend’s COUSIN
• Secure your spot in the family with your best friend’s COUSIN 

Dear Love Luster, 

As we’ve said before, If you have come to this page looking for love, you are in the wrong place! While we may not be the best at providing tips for finding love, we have some great tips on how not to find it!

• Do NOT, and we mean DO NOT go on vacation to Mexico, meet a random man at an empanada shop at 2am and then get his number.
• Do NOT order door dash, and then date your door dash driver! 
• We encourage you to NOT propose to someone 5 years older than you while on vacation in a foreign country, and then share your location with him, just to have him stalk you in your Airbnb in France a year later. (You didn’t meet him in France)
• Do NOT date the first man that is nice to you and then not find it WEIRD when he makes cap cut edits of all your friends.

Yours Truly, 

Finkle and Stinkle